my poem

Category: Writers Block

Post 1 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 29-Sep-2015 21:32:58

this is my poem I spent all night writing. I hope you guys like this.


I hear the wind howling, smell the great scent of pinetrees swaying, I hear the soft music of birds, the fluttering of wings,
I feel the leafy trees hanging, hanging, above my earings.

Storm clouds are gathering, stars are glowing, I am softly swaying,
In the beautiful greatly decorated forest!

A soft flute is playing, I am swaying, to the beautiful sound!
A hum fills the air, and then I found,
A really huge doorway.

I enter there slowly, carefully, so as not to disturb the still air.
A voice from inside says, “come to my lair!”

Post 2 by SilverLightning (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 29-Sep-2015 21:35:41

You should always try to avoid using nonspecific adjectives like great and
really. They don't actually mean anything. If I say a girl was really pretty, it
doesn't tell you anything about the girl other than the fact that I thought she
was really pretty. Why was she really pretty? see what I mean?

Post 3 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 29-Sep-2015 21:38:27

hey, stop judging, Cody. Thanks but, you are not my English teacher.

Post 4 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 30-Sep-2015 13:27:13

in yo face!

Post 5 by midnight sun (you can't catch me, i'm the palobread man) on Wednesday, 30-Sep-2015 17:11:35

I don't think that was done with bad intentions, just some advice.
It actually sounds like something I might have written, eh, so we kind of have similar styles. Or at least something I'd hae written a while ago. I got stranger in time. :P

Post 6 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 30-Sep-2015 18:01:26

here is a new one. Actually, I fixed it for yall know it alls!

I hear the wind howling, smell the great scent of pinetrees swaying,
I hear the soft music of birds flying, I find myself praying,
I feel the leafy trees hanging, hanging, above my bearings.

Storm clouds are gathering, stars are glowing,
I don’t feel like I am floating.

A soft flute is playing, I am swaying, to the beautiful sound!
A hum fills the air, and then I found,
A doorway for wich it’s round!

I enter there slowly, carefully, so as not to disturb the still air.
A voice from inside says, “come to my lair!”

A girl is there, with flowing hair,
Her eyes are as cold as the frozen air!

She says in a squeaky voice,
“will you make a choice?”

Post 7 by midnight sun (you can't catch me, i'm the palobread man) on Wednesday, 30-Sep-2015 19:19:29

soooo... I'm still waiting for your choice...
:D not bad, dear

Post 8 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 30-Sep-2015 20:03:34

Yes, I say, with a laugh.
the girl giggles then, bringing out an aircraft!

Post 9 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 30-Sep-2015 20:07:25

how's that? I could ryme all day!

Post 10 by Leafs Fan (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Thursday, 01-Oct-2015 9:54:02

LOL That choice is funny. I think this is a pretty good poem. Good imagery.

Post 11 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Thursday, 01-Oct-2015 12:51:28

thanks, Darren. Might write another soon.

Post 12 by midnight sun (you can't catch me, i'm the palobread man) on Thursday, 01-Oct-2015 14:10:37

and I'll answer. grins
It could turn into some kind of story in the end. mmm, stories

Post 13 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Thursday, 01-Oct-2015 14:37:48

yeah, that I'm really good at. :)

Post 14 by midnight sun (you can't catch me, i'm the palobread man) on Friday, 02-Oct-2015 13:44:51

me too!

Post 15 by pianoplayer4jesus (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Saturday, 10-Oct-2015 18:56:34

nice Sia

Post 16 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 12-Oct-2015 15:18:59

thanks, amy! sista, thanks so much! I might become famous? not.